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Divorce Recovery: Keeping Your New Year's Resolutions

By Mary Stearns-Montgomery | Jan 14, 2011 | Divorce
 

After a divorce, everyone wants to start the new year with resolutions for a healthier and happier life, but too often those plans are forgotten in just a few weeks. This year, stick to your goals and stay motivated with these five simple tips.

  • Make a Plan: After going through a divorce, decide on a few goals, and make a plan. "Getting organized" is a great goal, but it isn't a plan. Start the year off by making a plan for how you will succeed in 2011. Ask yourself: what kind of life do I want this year? Be as specific as possible, and outline a series of steps for reaching your goal. Evaluate your plan for difficulties and potential points of failure, and determine solutions to those problems before they arise. Write out your plan, and revisit it frequently to make sure that you're on the right track.
  • Set Realistic and Measurable Goals: Going through a divorce is difficult, so be realistic about your divorce recovery. Make sure to set realistic and measurable goals for your success. Write out your goals and put them somewhere that you will see every day, like your bathroom mirror or on your refrigerator. A visual reminder will help to reinforce your motivation and remind you that in order to succeed, you must reach for it every day. 
  • Reward Your Successes: The point of resolutions is to improve your life and better yourself, so when you successfully reach a milestone, celebrate it! Treat yourself, but don't lose sight of your goals. Divorce recovery is a difficult process, so be proud of the little things you do to change for the better. Pick a reward for yourself that doesn't conflict with the overall goals you are reaching for.
  • Don't Fret Failure: The hardest part of succeeding is failing, and no one reaches success without a lot of failures on the way. Reaching personal goals isn't like flipping on a light switch; if the goals you've set were that simple, you would have already done them. Accept that along your path to improvement you will have setbacks, failures, and disappointments. Don't let a little setback derail your plans. When you fail to meet a goal or reach a milestone let that disappointment motivate you to push yourself harder towards the next one.
  • Don't Be Afraid to Ask: As much as we'd all like to be experts at everything, its just not possible. If you reach a point on your path to success where you feel lost, confused, or unsure of how to continue, ask someone. In this amazing age of technology and connectivity, the answers to almost any question are just a few clicks away. The internet is full of others in your same situation, with your same questions. Post a question on a message board, email an expert, or find a local resource to help clear your confusion. If you’re considering divorce, talk to a family law attorney. With a nearly unlimited pool of information and resources available, you can quickly find someone to guide you through your decisions.

No matter what your New Year's Resolutions are, these tips will help you achieve your goals, and lead you to a happier, more fulfilled 2011. 

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