- by Mary Stearns-Montgomery
- in Divorce
The holidays are a wonderful time of the year, but if you’ve recently divorced, the season may seem a bit bleak and overwhelming. Here are a few tips to survive the holidays after a divorce.
1) Don’t Spend the Holidays Alone —
If you’re not used to being single, you may not be used to reaching out to friends and extended family during the holidays. Don’t punish yourself by retreating from your support network. You deserve to have a fun and happy season, so make an effort to spend time with people you care about, even if it feels awkward at first—Don't spend the holidays alone.
2) Celebrate Your Own Way —
If you’ve always wanted an enormous tree but your ex thought they were tacky, buy an enormous tree. If you’d rather spend a week at a beach resort with some friends instead of crammed around grandma’s table, go buy a plane ticket. Treat yourself to your own celebration.
3) Don’t Take Things Too Personally —
Since you’re focused on family dynamics, you may forget to keep friends and family member's comments in perspective. Try not to take insensitive comments too personally. See things for what they are, and move on.
4) Focus on Others —
Whether it’s collecting cans for the food bank, hosting a benefit, or just reaching out to the new neighbors, focusing on others will help you not to dwell on your own problems. Get involved in your community. You’ll probably meet some amazing people while you’re at it.
5) Stay Healthy —
It’s easy to feel preoccupied, forgetful or to blow small bumps in the road out of proportion. Build “healthy” activities into your schedule to keep your stress levels down. Eat breakfast every morning, get a massage, or go on an evening walk with a friend.
6) Be Your Own Best Friend —
If your child or best friend were going through a similarly stressful season, what advice would you give them? Think of the advice you’d give to someone you love, and take it. Don’t let yourself dwell, don’t stay in bed all day, and don’t drink to excess. Be proactive in finding fun actives to take your mind off divorce.
7) Put Your Divorce On Hold —
Unless you have to be in court over the holidays, give yourself a mental vacation from your divorce. Try to put off important decisions until the New Year if it’s within reason to do so.
Keep in mind that you have the rest of your life to deal with the emotions that come with divorce. Give yourself a break over the holidays, and look at the New Year as a fresh start. Happy holidays, from Stearns-Law.com!